Monday, December 27, 2010

Middle Aged Christmas Eve

On the 24th I went to buy bread at Sarcones, only to be thwarted by the guy in front of me who bought the last 10 loaves. So I headed to Sarcones Deli to see if they had any loaves they could spare. No. Then to Chickies who was still waiting on a delivery from Sarcones and I knew I'd hit the wall at my last possible Sarcones Christmas Eve bread purchase.

Then to Cacias, which is delicious but not the bread that was requested. While I was in line outside at Cacias some guy double parked and ran into Primo's hoagies with 2 boxes of pizza. He then hustled back out in his sweatpant outfit and turned to me and said, "Can you believe I'm delivering pizza? I'm so behind, I've got a flat screen in the back seat I've got to get to my mother-in-law! Merry Christmas!'" His back window was taped up and the back seat was PACKED with stuff... the flat screen and other stuff in trashbags and a billion wrapped presents. When he pulled away a giant flock of pigeons circled around above house level and it looked like their shadows were flying out of a second floor window on Jackson St. Of course, they were sold out of bread by the time I got up to the counter, but whatever. Then to the Acme to score any of the last remaining Cacias. Bread was finally gotten after a 3 hour attempt to buy 5 loaves of bread.

No parking when I got home, Ippolitos was out of control with 7 fishes shopping, every available legal space was taken. All the pull over illegal spaces were taken. Clarion St. was blocked with blinkers flashing.

We did some stuff around the house and headed to see LB's grandmother. LB doesn't have her mother or her aunts and her grandmother doesn't have any of her children or either of her husbands. Celebration is hard when it's fraught with loss, even when you're thrilled to be alive and happy to be with those who you love. There's no question I wish I could know what to do for the long haul of grief, but I sure don't.

Back home we made mini meatballs for Italian Wedding AKA Christmas Soup at LB's cousins. About the size of garbanzo beans and fried up in a pan.

My family's gifts were wrapped and I had no pangs about participating in the gross mechanisms of Christmas commercialism. Instead, I was thrilled to be giving gifts. I love my family and I love Christmas. Right, we're Jews, so you're like "what the hell?"
My father wasn't Jewish and we had Christmas growing up and my wife isn't Jewish and to be honest, I don't believe in any god. But I believe in joy and I am a true anarchist, I do what I want with my own life.

While my people were reading movie schedules and making reservations at Chinese restaurants, my mother planned Nam Phuong for Christmas dinner with Otto. And my sister and older younger brother and sister-in-law planned Nam Phuong for a later Christmas dinner for themselves and my younger younger brother planned to meet Vietnamese friends in Chinatown. He's finally home from Japan and I can't be happier.

Christmas was great and so was today. And I think tomorrow will be great. And if it's not, I don't care at all. I can't wait for the next day.


Can't Hardly Wait
The Replacements

I'll write you a letter tomorrow
Tonight I can't hold a pen
Someone's got a stamp that I can borrow
I promise not to blow the address again

Lights that flash in the evening,
Through a crack in the drapes

Jesus rides beside me
He never buys any smokes
Hurry up, hurry up, ain't you had enough of this stuff
Ashtray floors, dirty clothes, and filthy jokes

See you're high and lonesome
Try and try and try

Lights that flash in the evening,
Through a hole in the drapes
I'll be home when I'm sleeping
I can't hardly wait

I can't wait. Hardly wait.


ruben said...

That story was so heartfelt and so beautiful!
I hope someday you get to write more about your life experiences than in this blog.

ZS said...

Thanks Ruben. Thinking of you and sending our love!

s.poe said...

ahhh, I can hear those sweet horns on the bridge! I love that record, every groove of it. Hope your new year is even better than you thought it would be Love S.Poe

ZS said...

Dear Mr. S. Poe,

Here's to our lives just getting better and better and better. Skål, my friend.