Monday, February 08, 2010

Mammogram Hilarity.

The amount of full blown non-stop awesomeness in the radiology waiting room at Pennsylvania hospital today was through the roof.

Here's just a few tidbits from the mammogram waiting area.

First, we saw our neighbors from a few houses away and hear about another neighbor, Carol, who showed up for her first mammogram, at 50!, and took off her pants as well as her shirt. Then she was so worked up before she went in she was sliding down in her chair and yelling, "Ree, I can't take it, I can't take it, you got to take me to a hospital!" and the lady next to her had to say, "You are in a hospital." Then the mammogram was finally over, and it was fine, and she slipped the technician a 20 and when the technician was like, "I can't take this," Carol said, "get yourself lunch, hon, you saved my life."

Plus I was in the wating room with a lady who introduced me to her son with, "He's got post traumatic stress disorder from Vietnam" and he said, "Mom, I'm just as nuts as I was before" and we were all laughing.

Then later on in the day a feral cat came into our house. Yes, I invited it in, but just to leave through the front door. It must have jumped into our yard and not been able to get back out because of the snow, so it was crying at the back door. I put some milk in a saucer for it on the kitchen floor like I was in a fucking Katzenjammer Kids strip and then put it out back but it was still crying at the door so I had to let in and told it to walk through the house. That was going great until it decided to take a jaunty little stride up the stairs into the bedroom. I had to pick it up with a towel and carry it outside like it was a baby since I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. I then carried it up the block to Florence's house, where they have a lot of cats, and Bobby opened the door and told me they couldn't take it, they already have 9 cats.

The end of this story is me in no pants, just long underwear, standing on the corner of Dickinson and Juniper holding a cat like a baby with no fucking idea what I was going to do until the cat started squirming and when I put it down it promptly jogged away.

If you live near 13th and Dickinson and are not deathly allergic to cats like me, I highly suggest that you invite this cat in. The cat is black and white and very good company.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

re: If you live near 13th and Dickinson and are not deathly allergic to cats like me

^I am Woman. Hear Me Roar.^

We all love ya Zoe.

ZS said...

Thanks for that, my friend.