Monday, May 25, 2009

3 Notable Emails from This Week

Email #1-

"dear Zoe

I am curating a photo festival in Brighton in the UK...

As part of this Festival one of the partners called
Lightouse are going to produce an
exhibition about the gay community in Brighton. This is one of the
most colourful and biggest gay communities
in the UK. We are looking for a photographer who we know can engage
well with people and this is why
I am interested in asking you to contribute to this...

Many thanks,
Martin Parr"


Email #2-

"I just looked at your blog and I have to conclude that you are a half breed nigger or nigger loving faggot who knows nothing and likes to flaunt it. You do a lot of complaining about America but won't get off your fat, lazy, half breed nigger faggot ass to do something about it. You know how to complain like your whore Mother and pimp Father taught you to do and you like to assign blame to people you don't like politically because you don't know any better and you don't like Freedom but beat off to the Dictatorship beat.

I know you want to blow Obama and finger fuck his Whore, but there are Patriots, like me, who will fight you and the NIGGER SHIT that you love so well.

Don't bother to respond. I don't want to hear NIGGER SHIT, so you will be blocked.

Fuck You,



Email #3-

"Zoe: Don't know how I got on your e-mail list, but this is the second unwanted message I received about kittens, etc. I do not want to be on any blog or anything else. Take me off! Linda"


Here's assorted text taken from spam I received this week.

Everything's canceled today
We gather votes
Saw that virus news?
Were you late?
Infection attacks! Fight back!
Wish you could be better?
We Are All Witnesses
Want to be #1?
Uneven friends.
Got my file?
Have you been hit by the failing economy?
Another giant bankrupted
I got a question
Office is on quarantine
I 'm going to report about it
Give me advice


I'm going to quote an excerpt from an often underrated lyrical poem...

"You take the good, you take the bad,
you take them both and there you have
The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life."


Christopher Paquette said...

This could be the greatest post I've ever read on your blog...

p.s. Go for Email #1 !!

ruben said...

OMG It is like a rollercoster. I loved the first one , it made me feel happy.

The second one was so angry that if you ever find out who it it I would love to get my hands on him or her myself!
The other ones were just... obnoxiuos.

Stick to the first one Zoe...let the other ones roll over!

Ilene said...

Hi Honey, why don't you just give me #2's email address? He or she wouldn't have my email address and be able to block it. Just let your little old crackhead of a mom tell him what I think.

Ian Aleksander Adams said...

haters gonna hate

zs said...

Mom! Simmer! Actually my favorite is "this is the second unwanted message I received about kittens, etc." I don't know why it's so hysterical to me but I can't stop laughing about it.

Stan B. said...

You could always give #2 a kitten- an all white one...

Andrew said...

Um, please add me to your kitten e-mail list: andrew (at) ragged hand dot com.

Mark said...

I think it perfect that's it #2, peee uuuu.